The Mistletoe Rock
by Fallenangel26
Summary: The Bebop has a new bounty to find. He wears a red suit, has a white beard, an unhealthy craving for cookies and milk... And he's out to remind Faye, Spike, Jet, and Ed, what Christmas is really about. *FINISHED* (i know it's not december!)
1. The North Pole

A/N: Hey everyone!!! Just a standard disclaimer to make the feddies happy…

"I do so swear, that I do not own Cowboy Bebop. The only thing I own of worth is my DVD player and my computer, SO GO AHEAD AND SUE ME!!!

So help me God.

_December 23:_

Jet Black sighed as he watched the tip of his cigarette glow in the darkness. Life on the Bebop was getting, well… boring. They hadn't had a decent bounty in weeks, and money was disappearing quickly.

Suddenly, the screen in front of his face flickered to life, and a balding man with scars covering one-half of his face peered intently at Jet.

"Jet? That you Jet?"

Jet blinked. "Fred? Fred Dirk? How ya been pal?"

Fred smiled quickly. "Fine, just fine. But I'm not making a social call."

Jet raised an eyebrow. "I see. Go ahead."

Fred glanced around him to make sure no one was listening. "I've got a bounty for you. Worth a helluva lot, but this is going to be the toughest bounty you've ever hunted."

Jet blinked, and leaned forward. "Yeah? And does this bounty have a name?"

Faye Valentine hummed to herself, as the hot water poured over her body. "Ummmm… You make me feel like a natural womaaaaannnnn…." 

She poured some shampoo into her palm and began massaging it into her violet hair. Suddenly, the bathroom door burst open. Faye shrieked as Jet stuck his head in, looking more than slightly frazzled. "Faye! Get the hell out here! We've got a bounty to catch! C'mon!" he suddenly noticed that Faye was naked, and his whole head turned red, making him look like a sunburned radish. 

"GET OUT, YOU OAF!" shrieked Faye, desperately trying to cover herself. 

"Uh… yeah." Jet backed out, making a point of closing the door.

Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the fourth, focused on the tiny brush gripped tightly in her right hand. She dipped it slowly into the flamingo pink polish, and moved it slowly towards her left hand. Very carefully, she began to paint slow stripes onto her fingernails, biting her lip as she fought to keep from smearing the perfect nailpolish. 

Suddenly, the door to her room burst open, startling Ed so much she fell off her bed, sending the pink bottle of nail polish flying over her head.

"WAAAAUGH!" shrieked Ed, diving in a desperate attempt to catch the precious bottle. Bright pink paint spilled out of the bottle as it somersaulted through the air, splattering across Ed's face. Knocking aside her laptop, she just managed to grab the bottle, an inch above the ground.

"Wheeew…"

"EDWARD!" Jet shouted from the doorway, startling her (yet again), so much she threw the bottle upwards, and it dropped onto her head, all the precious pink nailpolish oozing into her hair, and dripping onto her nose.

"Edward!" Jet shouted again. "C'mon! We've got a bounty waiting for us! Quit dilly-dallying!" He shut the door behind him, totally oblivious to the fiasco he had caused.

"Gugh…" Ed moaned, eyeing the dripped pink paint with disgust.

Spike Spiegel concentrated on his heartbeat, as he extended his right leg out, bringing his left fist in close to his body.

It had taken him all day to find a quiet spot to exercise. Finally he had taken refuge in the laundry room, working on his fighting between a basin of dirty water, and a box full of laundry detergent.

He relaxed, letting his mind drift as his body went through the movements.

Suddenly, the laundry room door banged open, startling Spike so much, he tripped, falling face first into the basin of dirty water. One of his failing feet caught the edge of the detergent box, upending the white powder all over him.

He slowly picked himself up, as the detergent stuck to his soaked and dirty body. "JJJJJJJJJJJETTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled, whirling towards the figure in the door.

"What are you doing?! Stop horsing around!" Jet yelled. "Hurry! We've got a bounty to catch! Come ON!" He started to leave, then turned back to Spike. "The powder thing really isn't working for you, Spike." He ducked and ran off, as Spike chucked his boots at Jet cursing after him.

A few minutes later, Jet stared at the assembled bounty crew. Faye had wrapped herself in a towel, and was smoldering in the chair. Ed glared at him from her perch on the top of Faye's chair, the pink nailpolish already dried on her face and hair. Spike glowered from the couch, covered head-to-toe in crusty detergent, leaving puddles of dirty water and white dust wherever he stepped.

"Well, boys and girls, we have a new bounty to catch."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "How much he worth?"

Jet grinned. "A cool 50 million woolongs."

Faye turned towards Jet. "Who is this bounty?"

Jet's grin grew sadistic. "Looks like we're going to pay a visit to the North Pole…"


	2. Silver Bells

A/N: Hey! Sorry it took me so long to write this… HEH…

Anyways, no I don't own CB (how I wish I did…) so don't sue! I have nothing of value anyways…

Faye shook her head. "I still can't believe I let myself be talked into this…" she muttered, looking herself over in the mirror. 

She was wearing a strapless dark blue dress, with blue sparkles and a shimmery blue shawl. The dress was slit way up her thigh, and hugged her curves tightly. She adjusted her diamond necklace, put on her matching diamond earrings, and walked towards her vanity. 

"What was I thinking?!" she lamented, applying dark red lipstick to her pouty lips, and dusting a shimmery purple eyeshadow over her eyelids.

Edward bounced in, just as Faye put the finishing touches on her hair. Her violet hair had been swept back into a ponytail, and pinned up with a diamond butterfly clip. She pulled a few tendrils down to curl around her face, before turning to Ed.

"Edward is ready!" the girl was dressed in a dark green party dress with ivory ruffles, and patent leather shoes. Her wild hair had been combed and curled, until she looked like a red-haired Shirley Temple. 

Faye smiled at the girl. "You certainly do look ready! Oh no! What shoes do I wear with this?!" she dived into her closet rifling around, as Ed watched, curious.

Faye finally settled with blue high-heeled sandals, with straps that laced halfway up her calves. "Mm. All ready!"

Jet opened the door just then, dressed in a large hooded sweatshirt, baggy gray pants, and an olive green ski cap. He wore grubby tennis shoes, and mismatched gloves. "You womenfolk done yet? I can't believe how long women ta-" he stopped when he noticed both women all dressed and glaring at him. "Right. Shutting up now."

Faye, Ed, and Jet, all proceeded to the living room, where Spike leaned against the wall, glowering. He was wearing a tuxedo, with an expensive-looking black trench coat over it. He had been forbidden from smoking, because if he was pretending to be wealthy, he couldn't smell like cigarette smoke. 

He looked up when they entered, raising an eyebrow at Jet, grinning at Edward, and staring at Faye with an unreadable expression on his face.

Faye began to blush under his unwavering gaze, finally getting fed up with him. "What is you problem?! Why do you hate me so much?! Do you LIVE to make my life a living HELL?! WHAT IS YOUR FRICKING PROBLEM?!"

Spike didn't so much as raise and eyebrow at her tirade. He turned from her and walked towards the docking bay. "I was going to say you looked nice…" he said quietly over his shoulder.

Faye stood open-mouthed, as Ed and Jet covered snickers. She glared at them, blushing again. "Shut up, you."

She walked after Spike, dragging Ed along by the arm. As she passed Jet, she whispered something in his ear, which made him blanche, and stop laughing. "You wouldn't! Would you?" his eyes grew big.

She smiled, and closed the door behind her.

Once in the RedTail, with Ed squished in the back, Faye relaxed. She flicked on the two-way radio. "Jet."

There was a slight second of static before Jet's voice crackled through. "Alright Faye. You know the plan. You and Spike are married, and Ed is your daughter. You are visiting every store on this list, looking for your contact, who will be dressed as Santa. Meanwhile, I'll be checking the street corners to see if our contact is among those fools who ring the bells on the street corners."

Faye groaned as Jet uploaded a looooooooooong list of department stores to RedTail's onboard computer. "Don't you have any more specific information on our contact?"

"Nope. All we know is that he's dressed as a Santa, somewhere in this city." 

Faye groaned. "All right. Let's get this over with."

Faye landed RedTail gently, as Swordfish II settled next to her. She hopped out of the ship, as Spike clambered out of his craft. 

He walked slowly towards her. "Alright. Jet arranged for a limo to pick us up here in about a minute or so."

Faye nodded. "I've got the list of stores in my clutch." She patted her tiny purse.

Ed bounced excitedly around them. "Ed is ready! Ed is ready! Ed asks if Santa will take her to the North Pole with him, then Santa asks Ed who she would like to see up there. Then Ed tells him she wants to see Santa, 'cause he's bringing Edward a lot of money. Then Santa says he needs to ask Ed's parents if that's okay, and he tells Edward where he'll ask her parents."

Spike applauded. "Good job, kiddo!"

A ritzy limousine pulled up in front of them then, and the chauffer opened the rear doors for them. Ed jumped right in, and Spike helped Faye take a seat, before joining her.

Several hours, and too many department store Santa's later, Faye sank onto a padded bench, massaging her ankles. Spike dropped next to her with a moan. "I swear, if I hear 'Silver Bells' one more goddamn time, I'm gonna blow this place to frickin' kingdom come!"

Faye managed a pained laugh. "I fully agree with you there!"

Edward sprawled on the floor in front of them, mindlessly babbling, which for her, was not abnormal. 

Spike groaned and stood, cracking his back. "Well I suppose we had better get going again." He helped Faye up. "How many more stores have we got?"

She pulled out the list. "Too many…"

Faye fiddled with her 'wedding ring', twirling it around on her finger, and sliding it up and down. She glanced at Spike out of the corner of her eye, standing to her right.

He was mindlessly whistling, with a candy cane hanging from his mouth like a cigarette. She grinned, as he actually tried to smoke it, but ended up choking on candy cane juice, cursing flagrantly and coughing.

Suddenly Ed ran over, a huge grin on her face. "I found Santa Claus!"


	3. To all a Good Night

A/N: The last chapter!!! I know this is really short, but my stories have a mind of their own! 

Violets are red, roses are blue. Me no own, so you no sue!

December 24:

At exactly 9 pm GST, Faye, Spike, Jet, Ed, and Ein were all clustered on a dark street corner, while huge snowflakes poured from the sky.

Spike wore his huge puffy pink jacket, over his favorite blue suit. Jet wore the exact same outfit he had worn in Blue Crow. Faye wore tight black leather pants, and a see-thru white turtleneck over a black lacy bra. But her look was spoiled by the brown bomber jacket she wore over top, buttoned up to the chin. Ed wore a black puffy ski jacket, a banana yellow woolen cap with a big pom-pom, and a bright red scarf wrapped around her face. Ein even had his own knit sweater, a red one, with white snowflakes.

"Well? It's nine o'clock. Where is he?" griped Faye, her teeth chattering.

"You sure we're at the right place?" asked Spike, stuffing his hands farther into his coat pockets.

Jet chose not to dignify that with an answer, and instead turned away from them, looking decidedly miffed. "Voila!" He pointed down the street, to where a figure trudged slowly towards them.

It was a medium sized man, wide around the middle, not tall, but not short either. He had a white beard, and a thick mustache. A non-descript green jacket and a Prussian deer cap, completed his bland appearance.

"Hello." His voice was fuzzy and warm, like hard apple cider in front of a roaring fire. "Jet." He shook Jet's hand, pretending not to notice how surprised Jet was. He gave Spike a peculiar look, before shaking his hand also. "Mr. Spiegel."

He regarded Faye levelly, before smiling slightly and kissing her hand gently. "Faye, I presume?"

The funny old man dropped to his knee in front of Ed, a twinkling smile on his face. "Edward!"

Ed grinned at him and kissed his hand. "Hi!"

The man laughed, and ruffled her hair. "And last, the brains of the operation! Ein… I think I have something in here for you… It's a little old, and I might have sat on it at one point, but…" he pulled out an old dog biscuit, which Ein accepted gracefully.

"Now then. I am Mister Cringle. You wished to contact me?" He stood, and watched them.

Jet coughed. "Yes. We want to know where Santa Claus is."

Mr. Cringle blinked, and then began to laugh, great jolly bubbles of mirth. "Why ever would you want to know that?"

Faye crossed her arms. "Because there's 25 million woolongs on his head! Duh!"

Mr. Cringle stopped laughing, and slowly turned to her. "Money? Is that what you want? Is that all you care about? Money?"

Faye reddened. "Yes! I don't care about anything but money, because it's the only thing you can rely on always being there! Back before… I trusted people! And look where it got me! They're all dead, and I'm 50 frickin' years old! And every time I start to trust someone, like Gren, or… or… or Spike, they go and get themselves shot! I can't trust anyone… Oh God! Why am I saying this?!" She covered her mouth. "I've never told anyone this! Why can't I stop talking!" she looked at Mr. Cringle frantically.

He just smiled sadly. "It's time to learn to trust again" He rested his finger next to his nose.

A small girl with bright purple hair lay in bed, asleep. Slowly she awoke, blinking rapidly. She pushed aside her bedroom curtains, unveiling a world of snow. "It's Christmas!" she shrieked, jumping out of bed, and shoving her feet into fluffy slippers, before running out of her bedroom, and into the hall.

_She burst into another bedroom, pouncing on the two people still in bed. "Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! It's Christmas!" _

_The unfortunate parents groaned and rolled over, until the exuberant girl finally dragged them out of bed_

_The girl grabbed each of her parents' hands, dragging them downstairs, to where the Christmas tree was lit up like a saloon, and presents were stuffed under it like too many clothes in a small suitcase._

_The little girl shrieked with joy, pouncing on her presents faster than a mouse on cheese. Her parents laughed, as she hugged them happily. "Thank you Mommy! Thank you Daddy! I love you!"_

_A young man with unruly green hair stood in front of a cozy fire, sipping a mug of eggnog. A sudden light in the corner made him turn, to see a Christmas tree, lit up brightly with strands of shining lights, glinting off the tinsel and bulbs._

_A blonde haired woman stepped from behind the tree, letting the cord drop to the ground. "Merry Christmas…" she whispered._

He smiled. "Merry Christmas." He stepped forward and hugged her tightly. "Thank you…"

She smiled up at him. "I love you."

He cupped her chin. "I love you too."

The light from the fire cast warm shadows on the two, kissing under a hanging bunch of mistletoe.

A balding man, what little hair he had left, a dark black, sipped his hot butter rum, as he watched the flames of the roaring fire dance in the warm darkness. A lady with short dark hair nestled against his chest, with a warm blanket over both of them. She closed her eyes, sighing contentedly. "I love you Jet…" 

He smiled down at her. "I love you too…" 

She didn't answer, and he grinned. She was already asleep.

A red haired girl and a violet haired woman crept silently up behind two men, who were sitting around a mini fridge, drinking and talking.

The woman held tinsel and a garland of popcorn, and the girl held ornaments and a treetop star. They reached the men, tiptoeing behind the green haired one. 

The girl held her breath, as she gently nestled the star in his unruly green hair. Her older counterpart wound the popcorn around his head, and set the tinsel though his hair. Then the girl softly slipped the ornaments onto his ears, and they tiptoed away, stifling giggles in their hands.

There was an outburst of hearty laughter from behind them, and a loud curse. "FAYE! EDWARD!"

The young girl rolled on the floor, giggling maniacally, as the woman leaned against the ship walls, laughing so hard tears ran down her face. "I'm sorry Spike…But we just noticed how your hair…bears startling resemblance to a…Christmas tree!" she managed to gasp out between fits of laughter.

"A Christmas tree?! I'll show you a Christmas tree!" The green haired man began to chase them around the ship, throwing tinsel at them, and laughing.

The young girl giggled as she ran.

They jolted abruptly back to the present. 

Mr. Cringle smiled softly at them. "Those memories are what Christmas is really about. Not money."

Faye stumbled forward, tears streaming down her face. "Was that me? Was that my family?"

Spike stared up at the sky, one hand to his lips.

Jet closed his eyes, smiling to himself, as Ed danced around them all.

When they all gathered themselves together, they were surprised to see that the old man was gone. 

"Mr. Cringle?" Faye called.

"He's gone." Said Spike wryly, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "C'mon. Let's go home."

Jet grinned at them. "What do you say we take a detour to one of those tree lots? Think they might have any trees left?"

Ed jumped up to hug Jet around the neck. "Trees, trees! Christmas trees!"

Faye put her head on Spike's shoulder, and smiled, as a gentle snow began to fall.

Jet raised an eyebrow as they walked off. "Should I also buy some mistletoe for you two?"

He found himself simultaneously pelted with two snowballs. "JET!" They hollered.

As the crew of the Bebop disappeared into the snowy night, Ein remained standing where he was, staring at an alley. He woofed slightly, before running off after everyone else.

In that alley, an old man chuckled merrily, and winked. And through the peaceful city, everyone could hear a jolly voice shouting, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"


End file.
